Caribbean Journal

• Mar 18 - 19, 2005
• Mar 20, 2005
• Mar 21 - 23, 2005
• Mar 24, 2005
• Mar 25, 2005
• Mar 26, 2005

March 24, 2005

Oh yeah, no wisecracks here! I'm a little less than faithful (on so many levels...) about keeping up this diary. The time has become a real blur. But I have had a wonderful time in spite of the little setback of yesterday. Some of the guys were very upset. I don't like being the subject of discrimination, either, but in the larger scheme of things, it ranks as an irritation rather than an international human rights incident.

Sal lookin' cute

Yep, this is Sal. He caught my eye off the get go. We had a lot of adventures together. It's wonderful to have a friend on the high seas.

So we skipped Nevis and St. Kitts. Today we're in St Barths, if the authorities let us in (rolling eyes here). The guys want to get off the ship because there is little to do on board except lay in the sun or possibly have sex.

Which brings me to Sal. Two Sals are on board: Sal and the Other Sal. You have to be here to appreciate it. I first met Sal in Marigot. There we sat together on the bus ride to Phillipsburg. Three nights ago, I made my move, because I figured he'd make his move on me four days after the end of the cruise. He's a very sweet guy from New Jersey - the same age as I. He's very shy and cute as a button, and remarkably unaware of it. I think refreshing is the word. I've made it my job on this cruise to turn him into a bad boy by tomorrow. With Alex's help, I may succeed. I blame Sal completely for not having enough time to write in here.

Shoal Bay, Anguilla

Some notes about the ship's itinerary. On Monday, we were slated to land on Prickly Pear, but the waves were too high for a water landing. In the afternoon, we sailed for Anguilla, and spent a couple of late afternoon hours on the beach. At the very end of the beach, most of us took off our clothes (after all, this is a nude cruise), and lay in the sun or got in the water. During this time two locals walked through our group (although we were at the extreme end of the beach). A woman asked me what ship we were on, and a man stalked (apparently angry) through our group, twice. Those encounters may have been the start of our later undoing. (When I talked with the woman, I was fully clothed.)

Here's Captain Casey in my Leather Posing Strap
Photo by Destin

Here's Captain Casey wearing my leather posing strap. Notice the eggshell blue briefs UNDER the posing strap. Very curious fashion sense.

Monday evening was the leather party. Casey, the captain, had complained that he didn't have any leather. In retrospect, I find this factual mot incredibly difficult to believe, but in my naive way, I decided I should try to help. I loaned the captian my leather posing strap. When I handed it to him, I told him I'd heard he didn't have any leather, and I just wanted to help. He took the strap and burst out laughing. So fast forward to the party. There's Casey in eggshell blue briefs wearing the posing strap ON TOP of the briefs, all set off by a white BATH ROBE and a hard hat. If only figuratively (I wouldn't know from personal experience), the captain has balls. He told me he had to wear the underwear because he wasn't big enough to completely fill out the strap.... Alex and I wore some comfortable suburban leather, of course: vests, caps, and matching dog collars, and very little else.

Monday night was when I made my move on Sal. Now that I think about it, he didn't have a chance. We left the dance around midnight or so, and made out until 5:30 in the morning, probably a tactical mistake, but a very enjoyable one. Several elements configured themselves together to make truly great sex nearly impossible. The bartender often makes exceedingly strong drinks. The meals are large. The dancing goes on late. The cabin beds comfortably accommodate 1-1/2 guys only, and the clearance between the bed, bunk, and ceiling pretty much rules out effective penetration of any orifice, especially if you've been drinking too much. In any case, I've been enjoying Sal's company immensely. He's a sweetheart.

Liquid Lunch at Shoal Bay
Photo by Destin

Alex and I walked about a mile down the beach. Here we are having part II of our liquid lunch. That's Carib Beer. Part I was Pina Coladas before we started our walk. Ya gotta keep up your energy. I was working on an orange color theme.

And I guess that brings me up to Tuesday. We stayed at Anguilla, but moved to a public quay to debark from the ship tenders. It was a much smoother operation. We took a bus to Shoals Bay and spent several hours there. The sun is extremely intense, so I can't stay on the beach for an extended time. Alex and I spent some time in the water, then walked a mile or so along the beach. The beach is gorgeous, white sand, quite wide snaking along the shoreline. We had some great Pina Coladas at Johnnos, then continued our liquid lunch on our way up the beach. Happily, cognitive and motor functioning are not requisite skills for this cruise.

Tuesday night was "Kings, Queens, and Sluts" night. Yeah, I was a slut in my little red sequined number and my high heels. Talk about a God-awful uncomfortable dress. It's polyester and sequins and basically feels like sandpaper when you walk. People did not recognize me, which I find pretty hysterical. I had dinner with Sal and think he was somewhat uncomfortable having sup with a hussy. But he was very butch about it. I changed immediately after dinner because it was so uncomfortable. If fashion is the means women are forced to use to snare a man, then I'm grateful in some small measure for having a penis. Those high heels are murder.

The Nevis Incident

So yesterday, dawned bright and queer. We were at port in Nevis, having left Anguila around ll p.m. the night before. About 8 a.m. or so, a Port Police launch completely circumnavigates the Polynesia. I am standing on the deck dick to the wind, butt to the sun. The officer on the craft has an official frown and doesn't seem to be particulary impressed with my full frontal (or those of dozens of other cruisers).

Nevis Authorities Seize Captain Casey
Photo by Destin

The Nevis Ports Police came and seized the captain. Rumor had it that the Port Commissioner in Nevis is an Evangelical minister, and didn't like the thought of gay men visiting his island during Holy Week.

The officers take the captain off the Polynesia for a meeting with the Nevis Chief of Police, the Minister of Tourism, the head of the Port Authority, and the Director of National Security. The officials had heard word that the ship was a nude, gay cruise. Mention was made of offending the locals' sensibilities (after all, it is Holy Week). The captain assured the gentlemen that if he asked the cruisers to keep their clothes on, that we would (I'm not sure that that would have actually been the case...). The captain pointed out that Windjammer brought ships to St. Kitts and Nevis year round, not just during high season, that Nevis had received other gay groups and nude groups, that our group would spend thousands of dollars on the island, but to no avail. We were branded a "SECURITY THREAT" and not allowed to land or even swim in the local waters.

Raising our own Colors
Photo by Destin

Randall doffed his sarong, and it was raised proudly over the ship. Thanks, Randall!

The captain came back to the ship and we set sail for St. Barths. I admit, I'm disappointed that we couldn't see Nevis or St. Kitts. The island looked spectacular when we sailed past. I don't rank this though with Apartheid or Pol Pot's regime. I think the officials are bigoted and perhaps ignorant. A dozen taxi drivers last a chunk of change. The dinner restaurant lost thousands of dollars of business, and the country is a little poorer for it, but so are we, because ultimately this is about widening our experiences and opening our hearts. On the other hand, Sal and I had a swell make out session in my cabin.

So today, we're in Gustavia, St. Barths. I've been hanging out with Alex and Sal. We had lunch at a little cafe here in Gustavia, and this afternoon a lot of us from the ship came out to Salie Beach to bake. Sal, Alex, and I all have our stuff jumbled together. The beach is pretty magnificent. I've never seen such turquoise blue water. The waves are incredible. We were out doing some body surfing, and I tried to kill myself a couple of times. It's terror, followed by pain, followed by wonder. Mostly, it's cheap adrenaline-induced thrills. The waves have gotten bigger as the afternoon has gone on. Sand is getting into everything, including my crack.

We have a smoker on the ship. George is a really nice guy, but not always fully aware of his circumstances. Some of us think he's a secret operative of the Al Gayda Terrorist Network Conspiracy. He lit up his cigarette while standing amidst a pile of gas cans on the Gustavia pier. We expected Christiane Ammonpour to report on CNN that the pier and a group of gay refugees from Nevis were immolated by a suicide terrorist cell operative. The Nevis refugees had been boat people refused international assistance and medical attention in St. Kitts-Nevis and had evidently been hunted down by wealthy Texas Republicans. The French are investigating....